A
workaholic will be on the ski slopes thinking about his desk. How to
help a workaholic loosen up.
"The
doctor will see you now." "One
sec," I said. "I need to get this last sentence down."I
had begged for an appointment because a scratch on my chin had become
much more than a scratch. The lower half of my face was swollen to
twice its normal size. I'd spiked fevers off and on all weekend.
But
in spite of the fact that I was borderline septic, I had turned the
doctor's waiting room into a temporary office, spreading books,
papers and interview notes across three chairs. When the doctor came
in, he asked me what I was writing. "An article about
workaholics," I said. He raised an eyebrow. The irony of the
situation finally struck me. I put my pen down.
"Workaholics
are out of balance," says Bryan E. Robinson, a therapist in
Asheville, North Carolina, and author of Chained
to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and
Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them.
"They don't have many friends. They don't take care of
themselves. They don't have any hobbies outside of the office. A hard
worker will be at his desk, thinking about the ski slopes. A
workaholic will be on the ski slopes thinking about his desk."
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Americans
work almost 200 more hours every year than we did in 1970- that's
about an extra month. According to Juliet B. Schor, an economist at
Boston College in Massachusetts and author of the book The
Overworked American: The Unexpected Decline of Leisure,
putting in long hours isn't necessarily problematic. After all, the
rewards of hard work-a fatter paycheck, bonus points with the boss,
satisfaction from your accomplishments-abound. It's only when the
daily grind eclipses other areas of your life that it's time to stop
and rethink your schedule.
Paying
attention to how you're feeling away from work may offer the best
insight, says Robinson. On a scale from one to five, with five
being most satisfied, rate your satisfaction with your family life,
friendships, health and hobbies. If your total is less than 10
points, it might be time to cut back on work.
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Children
of parents with emotional problems are often put on the path to
workaholism when they must become responsible for their siblings,
housework and sometimes even those checked-out parents. Kids learn
that it's much easier to focus on tasks than to deal with painful
feelings, a kind of avoidance that's often carried into
adulthood—something Robinson is familiar with. After his father
died when he was in college, he became obsessed with finishing three
big papers rather than dealing with his grief. Workaholism,
Robinson's research has shown, is closely correlated with an
inability to be intimate, and many of his clients enter treatment
because their close relationships are falling apart.
Regardless
of what kind of home they grew up in, people who have certain
personality traits-those who are rigid and perfectionistic or those
who are born achievers-are more likely to morph into workaholics.
But
while certain professions or environments may reward workaholism, a
job can't turn a nonworkaholic into one, says Robinson. "That's
like saying a liquor store creates alcoholics."
After
almost two decades of research, Robinson has identified different
breeds of workaholics.
1. The
All-or-Nothing Workaholic
He
does things perfectly or not at all. He struggles to get started on
projects for fear of not meeting his own impossible expectations.
When he does get rolling, he binges to the point of exhaustion. Low
self-esteem leads those who suffer from this style to worry
compulsively about work, while blaming themselves constantly for not
doing it.
2. The
Relentless Workaholic
These
types don't have problems getting started; it's the stopping they
have trouble with. They can't say "no," set priorities or
delegate responsibilities. They often work so quickly that they make
careless mistakes.
3. The
Savoring Workaholic
She
obsesses over details to the point of paralysis. She hates letting
projects go and so will often create additional work whenever she
gets close to finishing a task. She tells herself that no one could
do it as well as she could. "They think, 'If I don't do
it, it won't be done right' or 'It won't have my mark,'" says
Robinson.
4. The
Endangered Office
Workaholics
of all stripes are generally terrible team players, says Gayle
Porter, a professor of management at Rutgers University in New
Jersey. "They try to control other people, control information.
They allow crisis situations to develop because it makes them look
like a hero." The end result is that workaholics are often not
getting much accomplished. That's why Porter thinks more bosses would
do well to reward those who clock out at the end of the day. "The
employee who wants to go home is the one who will be most efficient
during the week, because she's protecting her time off."
Rein In Your Workaholism
- Cut your electronic leashes. Eat lunch out of the office without answering your cell phone. No laptops in bed or at the table. No e-mail on weekends.
- Prioritize. Learn to decide what must come first-it's a way to recognize that some things in life simply are more important than others.
- Tame Your To-Do List. Set a cutoff for the number of tasks that can reasonably be accomplished in a day-no more than five. If a new task must be added, knock another off that demands equivalent time. And schedule in time for play.
Dire
Circumstances can push even the most severe workaholic off the
treadmill. The top two calls for reform are: "You're
Killing Yourself!" Workaholism
can contribute to an array of health problems; a life-threatening
illness is what it takes for some to slow down. "Dad,
Can I Be a Client?" When
a child comes home with a drawing of her family that doesn't include
her father, for example, he may finally alter his schedule.
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