Tips : Agar Disukai Orang Lain

Siapa sih dari kita yang tidak ingin disukai oleh banyak orang? Setiap individu yang suka bersosialisasi tentunya ingin diterima dan disukai oleh lingkungannya. Karena dengan disukai banyak orang, maka dalam berinteraksi kita akan menjadi semakin enjoy. Tidak ada rasa curiga, tidak ada rasa iri dan dengki serta tidak ada perasaan tidak enak di dalam hati orang-orang yang menyukai kita.

Sebetulnya ada cara yang sederhana agar kita disukai banyak orang. Dalam buku Best Seller "Bagaimana Mencari Kawan dan Mempengaruhi Orang Lain" karya Dale Carnegie disebutkan, untuk membuat orang lain menyukai kita adalah dengan cara "Memperlakukan mereka seperti kita ingin diperlakukan". Meski sederhana namun dalam aplikasinya di kehidupan sehari-hari, cara ini begitu sulit karena membutuhkan pengorbanan untuk melakukannya. Mengapa saya katakan sulit dan membutuhkan pengorbanan? Karena seperti yang pernah saya tulis sebelumnya, bahwa pada dasarnya manusia adalah makhluk egois.

Dalam buku ini juga mengajarkan kepada kita semua melalui sebuah ungkapan bijak, "Jika ingin mendapatkan madu, jangan tendang sarang tawonnya". Maksud dari ungkapan tersebut adalah jika kita ingin mendapatkan respek dan disukai orang lain, maka jangan pernah menyinggung perasaannya. Apalagi sampai menyakiti fisiknya dengan cara memukul, menampar, mencakar, atau dengan jurus apapun yang kita kuasai.

Sikap Dan Kesuksesan

Kebanyakan orang untuk meraih kesuksesannya, cenderung lebih konsen terhadap bidang keahlian yang ingin ditekuninya, namun justru hal yang sebenarnya lebih penting dari itu kadang justru terabaikan. Hal yang lebih utama dari keahlian atau skill yang harus dimiliki setiap orang yang ingin sukses di bidang apapun (sesuai yang diinginkan) adalah SIKAP.

Berdasarkan hasil penelitian para ahli terhadap ribuan orang-orang yang sukses dalam bidang masing-masing, disimpulkan bahwa kemampuan atau keahlian teknis (technical expertise) hanya berperan 15% terhadap kesuksesannya. Sedangkan 85% kesuksesan dari tiap-tiap individu tersebut dipengaruhi oleh sikap. Itulah kenapa banyak dari kita yang sebenaranya memiliki skill atau keahlian teknis yang tinggi, namun tidak mendapat karir yang lebih bagus. Atau jika mau mengembangkan usaha, tidak memperoleh perkembangan yang signifikan.

Menurut Jennie S. Bev, penulis buku "Rahasia Sukses Terbesar", yang juga seorang konsultan, entrepreneur, edukator dan juga merupakan salah seorang warga Indonesia yang sukses di Amerika, beliau mengulas 10 Sikap dan Kepribadian orang sukses (baik dari segi keuangan dan prestasi) yang berdasarkan pada komunikasi dan pergaulannya dengan para billionaire dan beberapa pengusaha sukses lainnya.

Protective Properties of Green Tea Uncovered

Photo by iStockphoto, Katarzyna Krawiec

Regularly drinking green tea could protect the brain against developing Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia, according to latest research by scientists at Newcastle University.

The study, published in the academic journal Phytomedicine, also suggests this ancient Chinese remedy could play a vital role in protecting the body against cancer.

Led by Dr Ed Okello, the Newcastle team wanted to know if the protective properties of green tea -- which have previously been shown to be present in the undigested, freshly brewed form of the drink -- were still active once the tea had been digested.

Digestion is a vital process which provides our bodies with the nutrients we need to survive. But, says Dr Okello, it also means that just because the food we put into our mouths is generally accepted to contain health-boosting properties, we can't assume these compounds will ever be absorbed by the body.

"What was really exciting about this study was that we found when green tea is digested by enzymes in the gut, the resulting chemicals are actually more effective against key triggers of Alzheimer's development than the undigested form of the tea," explains Dr Okello, based in the School of Agriculture, Food and Rural Development at Newcastle University.

10 Life-Threatening Mistakes You Might Make With Your Doctor

by Lissa Rankin, M.D.

What Mistakes Do YOU Make At Your Doctor’s Office?

With our health care system as broken as it is it’s easy for patients – myself included – to fall into the role of victim and blame others when things don’t go our way. But are you doing what you can to optimize the kind of health care you’re getting? As both a physician and a patient, I’ve been on both sides of the exam table, and I’ve learned, from personal experience and from my patients, that the best way to get premium health care is to accept responsibility for your health, behave like a respectful but empowered patient, partner with your health care provider, and be brave enough to play devil’s advocate.

Unfortunately, the stereotype of doctor-as-God has permeated much of our culture, and when many patients get sick, they hand their bodies over to the doctor and wash their hands of the whole messy business of the human body. But let me tell you something.  Nobody knows your body better than you

In order to ensure that you’re doing what you can to advocate for the health of your body and those you love, let’s review the 10 mistakes that can cost you your life, so you can learn the tricks for getting the best health care possible.

Menciptakan Senyum

by Dian L. Izwar

Pada sebuah kunjungan kerja ke sebuah perusahaan, seorang manager bercerita pada saya dengan setengah putus asa. "..Saya sudah melakukan semua cara untuk membuat karyawan memberikan service yang baik untuk customer, tetapi mereka tetap saja memberikan layanan seadanya. Setiap pagi saya mengumpulkan semua orang dan memberikan pengarahan mengenai apa yang harus mereka lakukan. Saya menekankan berkala-kali bahwa sebagai perusahaan yang bergerak di bidang jasa, kita perlu memberikan service yang baik kepada setiap customer yang datang. Rasanya saya sendiri juga bosan mengulang-ulang hal yang sama seperti itu setiap hari, tetapi tetap saya lakukan karena saya melihat mereka tidak melakukan apa yang saya instruksikan tersebut."

"..Sepanjang hari saya mengawasi mereka dari ruang kerja saya. Saya mencatat semua orang yang tidak memberikan pelayanan sesuai dengan standard yang telah ditetapkan. Saya katakan pada mereka bahwa saya mengawasi mereka dan pada sore hari saya kumpulkan kembali semua orang untuk mengevaluasi pelayanan yang mereka berikan pada hari itu. Saya bacakan kesalahan-kesalahan yang dilakukan di hadapan semua orang agar yang bersangkutan malu dan tidak mengulanginya lagi. Tetapi semua itu sia-sia, mereka tetap saja memberikan layanan seadanya. Saya lelah, namun sebagai manager saya dituntut untuk selalu memantau dan meningkatkan kinerja karyawan saya. Apalagi yang harus saya lakukan..?"

Beware the Perfect Job Candidate

by Carl Beuke, Ph.D

Why are candidates who claim to be the best, often the worst?

Some people advise that when asked about your weaknesses in a job interview, you should stick to talking about your strengths (e.g. "I'm a perfectionist"). If you're dealing with an experienced interviewer, this is a Very Bad Idea. It's not just that your interviewer may be slightly disturbed by your willingness to begin your professional relationship with a blatant attempt at deception. Her key concern is that you might really believe what you're saying. Skilled judges of people are aware that overconfident individuals can be the worst, most dangerous employees.

Why is a lack of awareness of one's limitations a mark of poor performance? Compare a schoolyard bully with ten years experience picking on smaller kids, with a black-belt martial artist of the same age, with ten years serious training and several championships to his name. If asked in an interview about the weaknesses of his fighting technique, the bully is likely to respond, "What's it to you?" The martial artist, in comparison, is able to describe a long list of specific imperfections.  "When I front kick, sometimes I drop my weight forwards when I'm placing my foot back on the ground, instead of keeping my balance." "Sometimes I overextend when I punch." The bully might have these same flaws, but would not be aware of them, or understand why they are important.

Just Being Happy Can Be Complicated

by Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D.

The pursuit of happiness can be misguided or make you sick.

It’s understandable why people would want to be happier. And in order to find happiness, numerous self-help books will tell you exactly what to do, how to do it, and how often to do something. But happiness can be an elusive goal.

Researchers have found that valuing happiness might be self-defeating, since the more you value happiness the more likely you might be to experience disappointment when you’re not happy (Mauss, Tamir, Anderson, & Savino, 2011). Essentially, people who highly value happiness may set standards for it that are hard to achieve, and when people cannot obtain the standards that they have set for themselves they are bound to be disappointed (Mauss et al., 2011). Thus, in the case of wanting happiness, these researchers conclude that people may feel worse off the more they want it, and that valuing or overvaluing happiness can possibly lead you to be less happy, even if happiness is within your reach.

Whether or not you think you should be happier may depend upon your subjective assessment of what happiness is for you. What defines happiness differs among people. For example, how you measure your own happiness in relation to the obstacles you presently face may be influenced by your culture and socioeconomic status. Being privileged may interfere with your happiness rather than protect it. If you grew up most often having your needs met because your family had money, status, or power it’s likely that your perception of your interpersonal influence and your ability to control your environment is much greater than a peer whose family had low socioeconomic status and therefore learned to adapt to circumstances (Cohen, 2009; Snibbe & Markus, 2005). When preferences are unavailable and the potential for disappointment is high, people of high socioeconomic status who have learned to value control and a sense of agency tend to be more upset than people from a culture of low socioeconomic status who value flexibility, integrity, and resilience (Cohen, 2009; Snibbe & Markus, 2005). Therefore, depending upon your perspective, not getting what you want may result in frustration and disappointment, or it can be an opportunity to employ your skills at adaptation.

Primarily in Western culture, emotions that are uplifting, such as joy, elation, amusement, or gladness, are considered to be positive and are associated with individual success, good health, and high self-esteem. Although Westerners may assume that all people should strive to experience more positive emotion in their lives, this may not be the case for other cultures, according to researchers Janxin Leu, Jennifer Wang, and Kelly Koo (2011). They point out that in many Asian cultural contexts happiness may be associated with negative social consequences, such as jealousy in others. The goal may be moderation of positive emotion, instead of maximization, in cultures informed by the Buddhist belief that pure pleasantness is impossible to attain or can lead to suffering.  The researchers found that culture makes a difference in the role that positive emotions play in mental health, and that positive emotions may not be as positive for Asians as for European Americans.Therefore, emotion moderation through balancing positive and negative emotions may be a cultural goal in Asian contexts, but in Western contexts maximizing positive emotions may be a cultural goal.